Did You Know To Expect This?

As we inch (and I do mean inch... whew what a wait!) I thought I would share a few things for along the way. First, lots of you are following my friend's blogs that are currently in China and I have gotten LOTS of questions! Like, "Is something wrong with them that they cry all the time?", "is it always that hard?", "do they all have strange behaviors, like bang their heads or rock themselves to sleep?" and "why don't they go to the dad's?". So here are a few answers... Yes, yes, yes, and yes! Everything these girls have written, is completely normal. We have been prepared over and over again for the entire adoption process to be prepared for the worst and pray for the best. The best way to explain it is this: Imagine you went to bed with your husband one night, and woke up the next morning and a man from a foreign country, who didn't speak your language, just took you away in a car to a hotel room for a week. Then on a plane. And off you went to a place where everyone looked different, smelled different and you didn't understand a single world. That would be traumatizing. You would be confused, hurt, angry, sad. Everything you have ever known (even if it's an orphanage) is taken away from you. And with the mind of a toddler, it's often times to much to take in. Hence the rocking, head banging, blank stares, basically just shutting down.
And as for not going to dad's, most of these children have been cared for by women nannies their entire lives. Many have probably not even seen a man- ever! So that adds a whole 'nother level of trauma.
So yes, we are prepared for all of that, but that is why we covet everyone's prayers so much! Because our God is greater than ALL of these things!
Also this gives a brief insight as to why we are all so careful when we come home. Staying close to home, not allowing anyone but mom and dad take care of their needs- hold them, feed, bathe them or change their diapers. We have to teach them how to be dependent on us as parents and trust us fully! They are used to different nannies meeting their needs. Not parents. So from day 1, holding them almost always, playing games where they "look you in the eyes", even having them sleep with you, are all so important in helping them learn how to trust you. So DIFFERENT from biological kids!
If you want to read more about this stuff, Rushton wrote it much more eloquently than I did! So click here to read more :)
Charles and I would still love your prayers- we are so so so close to bringing Mamie home. Waiting for the absolute final word and we are off!