I Didn't See This Coming

So today is Chinese New Year! That's about all I currently know about that. I began some research today and thought it could even be really fun to cook an authentic meal tonight... until I realized you don't just "whip" one of those up. So maybe we will have a delayed one this weekend? Because after all they celebrate the Chinese New Year for 15 days and end with Lantern Festival. We have plenty of time to figure this thing out! (And see, I did do some research).  Well this research is what got me into trouble. I've been so unemotional about this process since we started our paperwork a few months ago. Just plowing through, a little bit like a job. I was even telling this to a fellow adopting friend the other day. I haven't cried, I've just been pushing through. So back to today's research, which led to just reading, which led to reading several adoption blogs on China, and I fell apart. A messy puddle on the floor. It's my first real desire to bring our child home since we started the process in November. I think I've just protected my heart since I know it will be such a long time away. And not to mention ALL OF THE READING will all but have you running the opposite direction of adoption. But ah ya ya. Today was a kicker. Guess this is all part of the process.